


Fathers

by mean_whale



Series: Heatwave AU [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Anal Sex, Angst, Cutting, Family, Fluff, M/M, Mpreg, Omega Verse, Past Rape/Non-con, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rimming, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-26
Updated: 2016-03-02
Packaged: 2018-05-23 09:18:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6112000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mean_whale/pseuds/mean_whale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oikawa runs into Kageyama, who becomes obsessed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. (Don't) Want to Know

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place some time after Baby I Hate to Love You. Don't ask me to provide an accurate timeline, I really don't know.

It was a warm afternoon, and the sun made the whole street shine in a pleasant glow. Oikawa and Sugawara were sitting by the window of a café, looking out and enjoying refreshments after a difficult shopping session. Oikawa’s pregnancy was already apparent in his body – especially his breasts. They had remained small and unnoticeable until his belly started growing, but then they had grown so suddenly it still felt like they had appeared overnight. After struggling with his stubbornness for a while Oikawa had finally admitted that he needed a bra.

“Thank you so much for helping me out today,” he said to Suga, who had agreed to help him out with finding a bra.

“You’ve thanked me quite enough,” Suga said with a chuckle. “I’m glad I could help you. I’m not very knowledgeable of these things.”

“You know, sometimes it helps just to have someone with you,” Oikawa said.

Oikawa still had a hard time adjusting to his newly developed chest. To him the breasts seemed absolutely massive, and if he was honest he acknowledged he was embarrassed to have them. They got in the way during practise, not to mention they were almost constantly aching. The ache made him sometimes unconsciously rub them, which in turn embarrassed him further if it happened in public. He couldn’t even remember all the times he had blushed furiously when he had noticed what he was doing or had caught someone looking at him do so.

“Aren’t you glad they won’t bother you so much during volleyball now?” Suga asked and took a sip from his cup.

“Yes,” Oikawa replied, “but I’d still rather not have them. At least they should be smaller. I look ridiculous.”

“No, you don’t,” Suga said. “Besides I don’t think they’re going to grow much more. When your belly grows bigger they’ll start looking smaller again.”

Oikawa pouted playfully, making Suga laugh.

“They ache so much,” he whined.

“I have to say,” Suga said thoughtfully, “that the more you tell me about pregnancy the less I want to go through with it myself.”

“You’ll change your mind when you have an accident,” Oikawa responded with a smirk. “Haven’t you and Sawamura ever talked about having a baby?”

Oikawa turned to look at Suga, who had suddenly gone quiet. Suga’s eyes were glued inside his empty coffee cup.

“Did something happen?” Oikawa asked when the other omega kept quiet.

“I guess you could say so,” Suga said and flashed a smile that was sadder thank Oikawa had ever thought possible. “I think we’re through.”

“Oh,” Oikawa could only say. “I’m sorry.”

Suga continued to stare into his cup for a while longer. Oikawa didn’t really know where to look or what to do. This was the first time that Suga had ever needed his support and not vice versa. He had come to view his friend as someone carefree and strong, so seeing him look so tormented made him feel even smaller in comparison.

“It’s… It was my decision,” Suga finally said and looked at Oikawa. “I thought I was in love with him, but there was something that didn’t feel quite right. And then I met someone else who made me feel… It was something similar but something so different.”

“So you’re leaving him for someone else?” Oikawa asked.

“Not exactly,” Suga said. “That someone else doesn’t know how I feel, and I don’t know what he thinks about me. But I do know that with Daichi it was starting to feel like I was suffocating. He’s a really good person, and he’s been treating me so well, but I guess we wanted different things.”

“How different?”

Suga took a bite of his cake, presumably to get some time to think. Oikawa waited patiently for his friend to continue.

“He was starting to talk about marking,” Suga said slowly. “He didn’t say it outright, he was just hinting at it, but it was clear that he wanted to start settling down and have a baby as soon as we graduate high school. But I don’t know. It’s not that I don’t want to settle down and have babies, but I don’t think I can do it this soon. I really admire the way you and Iwaizumi are so devoted to each other already.”

“Yeah,” Oikawa said. “I always wanted to be with him. Sometimes he jokes that I seduced him into being my alpha, but maybe I did.”

“I don’t think he would have stayed if he didn’t really want to,” Suga pointed out. “He definitely wouldn’t have marked you.”

Oikawa sighed and looked out to the street at the people walking past them.

“You don’t feel like you’re ready to commit because you’re so young?” Oikawa asked.

Suga blushed and looked out as well.

“I guess so,” he said. “How could I know what I want for the rest of my life when I’m still just a kid?”

Oikawa nodded. He may have always known he wanted Iwaizumi, but he understood how difficult it could be to know what was right. There had been times when he had been hesitant about his relationship, some of those times even closer to the present than he wanted to admit.

“Are you going to tell that someone else how you feel?” Oikawa asked.

“I don’t know,” Suga said. “He lives far away from here. Long-distance relationships are difficult.”

“Well, you’re a free man,” Oikawa said. “At least you might get a one-night stand.”

Suga laughed and relaxed again.

“Don’t make me think about sex with him,” he said. “I’ve already thought about him way too much. I won’t be able to face him the next time we have practise with them.”

“Oh, so he’s a volleyball player,” Oikawa exclaimed. “Is it someone I know?”

“How should I know?” Suga said and laughed shyly. “He’s not from around here so maybe you don’t know.”

“What’s his name?” Oikawa tried.

“I don’t want to tell you,” Suga said and smiled apologetically. “If I decide to pursue my feelings I’ll tell you who it is.

When they left the café Oikawa was feeling content. Suga always made him feel at ease, and he felt like he had found a soulmate in the omega. Sometimes he thanked Tanaka in his mind for deciding to get Suga of all people to help him. He quickly chased away any other thoughts of that day, however. Thinking about it still made him shudder and a sickening feeling crawled along his spine.

They were headed home, chatting lightly, when a familiar figure appeared before them. Oikawa felt like his heart might stop beating altogether.

“Sugawara-san,” Kageyama said, standing right in front of them.

Suga quickly glanced at Oikawa, drawing Kageyama’s attention to him as well.

“Oikawa-san,” Kageyama said quietly, but didn’t quite look at him.

Oikawa didn’t say anything. He was doing his best to hold himself together. He noticed how Kageyama’s eyes travelled down his body, stopping briefly at his chest before coming to a full stop at his belly.

“You’re pregnant,” Kageyama said, shooting a questioning look at both of the omegas.

“Yes,” Suga replied in Oikawa’s stead.

Oikawa’s heart was beating in fear, and he wiped his hands on the hem of his shirt. He noticed he had withdrawn to stand slightly behind Suga instead of facing Kageyama head on. He looked at the boy in front of him to stop his thoughts from going back to how Kageyama’s hands had held his hips in place to better penetrate him.

“Oh,” Kageyama said.

Oikawa wanted to run away. He knew that Kageyama could smell his fear, and he hated that. He hated that his body was once again betraying him in front of the boy. He thought about how the dirt had chafed his knees when he tried to crawl away but his arms couldn’t pull him forward, how the look in Kageyama’s eyes had been that of a hungry predator, how he had wanted to kick and scream to get away but couldn’t do it.

His thoughts came to a halt when Sugawara’s hand took a hold of his own. He lifted his free hand to touch the bump of his belly, as if to shield his baby from the alpha standing in front of him.

“How far is the pregnancy?” Kageyama asked.

Oikawa closed his eyes. He couldn’t believe the boy just wouldn’t leave. When he opened his eyes he made sure to not look at the alpha.

“Kageyama,” Suga said, “we need to go.”

Kageyama nodded and stood to the side to let them pass. Oikawa could feel the dark eyes follow him, and he had to press his lips together to stop them from trembling. Suga turned to look back before stopping.

“I assume this was the first time you’ve seen him since,” he said.

Oikawa nodded. He tried to breathe steadily, but it proved difficult. Suga stroked his back with a warm hand.

“It’s okay,” he said quietly. “He’s gone now.”

*

The uneasiness of having run into Kageyama didn't leave Oikawa alone, so he had called Iwaizumi. The alpha was now sitting on his bed with him, looking worried.

"So," Iwaizumi started.

"What?" Oikawa asked, looking at the alpha as if he really didn't know what he wanted.

"What happened?" Iwaizumi asked.

He took a hold of Oikawa’s hand, playing with the knuckles with his rough fingers. He was looking at Oikawa’s face, and Oikawa couldn’t help wondering what he looked like in his boyfriend's eyes.

"What do you mean?" Oikawa asked again.

"Do you always have to make it so hard for me to get information out of you?" Iwaizumi asked with a sigh, but he was smiling gently. "Really, it's no wonder we've had such big communication issues."

Oikawa snorted.

"What makes you think something has happened, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa asked with a playful smirk that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Shittykawa," Iwaizumi mumbled. "It's pretty damn obvious: you didn't sound quite right on the phone, and there's a nervous energy about you. Not to mention the lingering scent of anxiety. If you think I wouldn't notice, you're a real dumbass."

"Iwa-chan," Oikawa sighed and leaned against the alpha. "I ran into someone today."

"Who?" Iwaizumi asked, his cheek pressed on the top of Oikawa’s head.

"Someone I would have never wanted to see again," Oikawa said quietly and buried his nose to Iwaizumi’s chest. "I never wanted to see him again."

Iwaizumi stayed quiet, his hands stroking Oikawa’s nape and shoulder. Oikawa wondered if he had already said enough for Iwaizumi to understand what he was talking about. Sometimes it was easy for them to understand each other, and on other days it felt like they had never even met before.

"It was one of your rapists, wasn’t it?" Iwaizumi said quietly, his hands holding Oikawa in a protective manner.

Oikawa nodded against the alpha and breathed in the calming scent of him, reminding him of peaceful happiness, of home.

"Iwa-chan," he said. "I want to live with you."

Iwaizumi pulled him into a better embrace, pressing a kiss on his hair.

"Me too," he said. "I always want to be with you."

Iwaizumi gently stroked Oikawa’s back with his large hands. Oikawa felt like the lingering distress was melting away with the warmth of his alpha. He sighed.

“Iwa-chan,” he said carefully. “What happened to Kyotani’s face?”

Iwaizumi jolted in surprise, but resumed cuddling the omega.

“What do you care?” he said too roughly. “He probably did something to earn it.”

“Iwa-chan, I mean it,” Oikawa said and pulled away from the alpha’s embrace. “His face may have healed by now but the way he’s looking at you has changed. Did you have something to do with it?”

Iwaizumi seemed to think, his eyes searching for answers in the room.

“Nothing gets past you, does it,” he sighed and looked at Oikawa. “I had everything to do with it.”

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa gasped. “Why did you do it? I would have never thought you’d hit someone like that!”

A grumble rose from Iwaizumi’s chest and his face went sour.

“I know what he did to you,” he said, his voice raw and dangerous.

A shiver ran down Oikawa’s spine as he tried to think of a way to talk about the subject without thinking about it.

“What did he do to me then?” he finally asked, eyes wide in front of Iwaizumi’s dark glare.

The alpha groaned in frustration, his frown deepening.

“He raped you,” he said with a growl, his entire body shaking with the anger rising from deep within him. “I know it because he told me. He came to apologise. He was worried because you were gone and because he had noticed your arm. He’s pretty smart for someone so stupid.”

Oikawa groaned and rolled his eyes.

“What kind of an idiot goes to the alpha of the omega he raped,” he mumbled.

“I’m not a violent person,” Iwaizumi said, his voice still dripping with anger and resentment.

“I know it, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa said and stroked Iwaizumi’s cheek. “Try to not hate him too much.”

“I can’t believe you’re saying that,” Iwaizumi said, but the edge from his voice was gone now that he looked at the way Oikawa’s hand was reached out to touch him. “Tell me who the other one was.”

“No,” Oikawa said firmly, patting Iwaizumi’s cheek. “You’ll never know.”

“I want to know,” Iwaizumi tried, but his voice was soft and already defeated. “As your alpha I command you to tell me.”

“I may be just an omega,” Oikawa said, “but we both know you can’t make me do anything I don’t want to do.”

Iwaizumi smiled and pressed a quick kiss on the tip of Oikawa’s nose.

“So you don’t want to tell me,” he said with a sigh.

“I don’t want you to be angry,” Oikawa said, leaning closer to Iwaizumi and brushing their noses together. “I want you to fuck me.”

“Oikawa!” Iwaizumi gasped, partly serious. “How can you think about that at a time like this!”

“Well,” Oikawa nearly whispered to Iwaizumi’s ear, “we’re alone. And I love you. I can’t stop thinking about your body, how it’s so big and strong and you take me so well into your arms.”

Iwaizumi chuckled and pressed an open mouthed kiss on Oikawa’s neck.

“And I’ve been horny all day,” Oikawa continued. “I want you to touch my boobs, Iwa-chan.”

Iwaizumi groaned, his hands immediately finding their way to Oikawa’s chest, cupping the breasts and squeezing lightly before rolling them in his hands.

“Ah,” Oikawa breathed out, his hands locked behind Iwaizumi’s head, his fingertips sinking into the coarse hair. “Iwa-chan, I want you so much.”

Iwaizumi was kissing Oikawa’s neck right where his mark was, his lips suckling on the skin lightly. Oikawa pulled the alpha’s head closer, pressing their bodies together. Iwaizumi kissed lower, his hands playing on Oikawa’s chest.

Oikawa pulled Iwaizumi down on the bed with him. The alpha's hands were groping his chest in a way that made him squirm. He was getting wet so quickly it was almost unheard of, and he smiled into the kiss Iwaizumi pressed on his mouth, tongue slipping between their lips.

When Iwaizumi suddenly pulled back, Oikawa whimpered with the loss. He looked at how Iwaizumi pulled his shirt off, exposing his well-toned muscles, and it made him lick his lips in appreciation. The alpha placed his hands on Oikawa’s hips, pulling his pants down without any hesitation or question. Oikawa lifted his hips to allow the garments to be removed, and spread his legs immediately when Iwaizumi turned back to him. He blushed with the way his body was acting on instinct, letting his omega nature come through so easily.

"What a good view," Iwaizumi said with a growl of approval. "You're such a good omega."

"Sh- shut up, stupid Iwa-chan!" Oikawa breathed.

Iwaizumi’s praise made his body tingle with new kind of warmth, and he exposed his body further, his legs spread wide and his hands pulling up his shirt to reveal his belly and chest. Iwaizumi looked at him in the dangerously exciting way that only an alpha in love could look: his eyes dominant but filled with the gentle feelings of caring for the omega in front of him.

"Looks like you don't mind being a good omega for me," Iwaizumi chuckled and helped Oikawa get rid of his shirt completely.

Oikawa lay on the bed, his body opened up and vulnerable, and he gasped when Iwaizumi’s eyes roamed the sight, as if he could feel them slide over his skin.

"You look so good," Iwaizumi said, his voice filled with wonder. "Tooru, you are so sexy."

Truth be told, Oikawa was having some trouble believing it. As his pregnancy progressed, his body had only gotten bigger. He felt bloated every day when he got dressed, none of his clothes really fitting him properly, and the skin on his chest was littered with stretch marks. When he had first noticed them, he had taken all the efforts he could to hide them, but eventually he had to show Iwaizumi. Eventually he didn’t even care about showing him because he was so horny he could only think about being fucked hard. Iwaizumi had never commented on them, as if they weren’t there and just as obvious as his newly developed breasts were.

“You better believe me,” Iwaizumi whispered.

With a sigh Oikawa smiled. Sometimes he felt like Iwaizumi always knew what he was thinking about. It had always been like that, and he himself was the one who kept making things complicated.

“I believe you, Iwa-chan,” he said.

“Well,” Iwaizumi said, his hands caressing Oikawa’s bare hips, “I’ll accept that for now. Right at this moment I don’t have the patience to make you believe for real.”

Oikawa opened his mouth in question, but the question fled his head when Iwaizumi bent down and took his half hard cock in his mouth. He let his head fall back on the pillow as Iwaizumi sucked. It was over as soon as it had started; Iwaizumi let the cock drop out of his mouth and moved to suck on Oikawa’s balls instead. He played with them for a while, sucking them into his mouth one at a time and using his tongue to tickle them. As he went on he raised Oikawa’s hips, slowly and carefully bending the omega so that eventually his ass was in the air.

“Okay?” Iwaizumi asked, and Oikawa nodded.

The next lick of Iwaizumi’s tongue wasn’t on Oikawa’s cock or balls, it was right on his slick entrance. Oikawa moaned with the feeling of the tongue probing him, testing the tightness of the muscle, but not entering. Iwaizumi pressed his lips right next to the hole and sucked on the skin sharply. Oikawa’s legs were shaking and he was certain he wouldn’t be able to hold the position, but Iwaizumi’s strong arms supported him as his mouth was working his ass. He whined with every touch of the alpha’s lips on his pucker, moaned with every suck and probe of the tongue. Iwaizumi hummed in pleasure and finally pushed his tongue past the tight ring inside Oikawa. The tongue pushed in as far as it could go, and the thickness of it spread Oikawa’s hole just the right way.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa moaned.

His hands had taken a hold of Iwaizumi’s hair, not pushing the alpha nor pulling him away. He whimpered with this newly formed connection of their bodies, Iwaizumi’s tongue pushing in and pulling out of his hot insides, slick making the sounds obscenely wet. The feelings and sounds together were driving Oikawa towards the edge, and when he finally came, his muscles were tightening around Iwaizumi’s tongue that was still working him.

When Oikawa came down from the heights Iwaizumi withdrew his tongue with one last slurp.

“You taste so good,” the alpha groaned, and Oikawa blushed with the thought of it.

Iwaizumi lowered Oikawa’s hips on the bed and finally opened his own pants. Oikawa looked at the way his cock sprung free, hard and red, pre-come dripping down the length of it.

“I want your cock, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa said with a deliberately sultry moan. “Fuck me hard and shoot your semen deep inside me. Make me pregnant all over again with your huge cock.”

Iwaizumi groaned and let go of the pants he had still been pulling off. He pumped his cock once before positioning it against Oikawa’s twitching entrance, pushing in with a slow start but losing his cool when Oikawa tightened his muscles. His cock rammed inside with such force Oikawa nearly banged his head on the headboard of the bed, smirking with the pleasure of being filled and stretched so open so fast.

“Iwa-chan, you pervert,” Oikawa chuckled with a breathy voice. “You just couldn’t wait to fuck me open with that massive cock of yours, could you?”

“Shut up,” Iwaizumi breathed and pressed his open mouth on Oikawa’s neck.

“Fuck me deep,” Oikawa whispered, and was rewarded with a particularly delicious roll of the alpha’s hips.

The way Oikawa felt his body move with the force of Iwaizumi thrusting into him was different now that he was pregnant. He had more flesh that jiggled in different ways, and while it made him feel like he didn’t know his body any longer, it also turned him on how Iwaizumi seemed to enjoy every bit of his growing body. The alpha cupped his breasts into his hands, grinding his hips to reach deeper into Oikawa’s body.

“Do you like my tits, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa asked with a groan.

“I love them,” Iwaizumi said.

His knot was quickly forming at the base of his cock as he rammed it into Oikawa with hard, fast thrusts.

“Hajime,” Oikawa whined, his second orgasm getting closer.

He reached to touch his own cock, jerking it with the rhythm of Iwaizumi’s pushes. The alpha was breathing right into his ear, the gasps and groans sending shivers right to his cock.

“Tooru,” Iwaizumi groaned. “I love you so much.”

Oikawa’s grip of his own cock tightened and he whimpered.

“I want to have your babies, Hajime,” he managed. “Fill me to the brim with your seed.”

With a final tug and a deep moan his body convulsed and he shot his second load between their sweaty bodies. The way he tightened around Iwaizumi’s cock made him see stars and he couldn’t keep his voice down, his hips shaking desperately with his orgasm. It was what Iwaizumi needed to reach his own release, his cock knotted deep inside Oikawa’s body, filling the omega with his thick come. Oikawa was sensitive, and the way Iwaizumi’s knot was spreading him wide kept him on the edge. He wrapped his arms and legs around Iwaizumi’s body, rolling his hips in need. His muscles were still taut, and he cried out when a new wave of pleasure hit him, tightening his entire body around his alpha. He couldn’t breathe with the intensity of his orgasm, pressing his face tightly against the curve of Iwaizumi’s shoulder, his muscles spasming.

It took a while for Oikawa to come down, his muscles relaxing slowly.

“I thought you were going to squeeze me to death,” Iwaizumi said, when Oikawa’s legs slid down his back and onto the bed.

“I thought I would orgasm myself to death,” Oikawa breathed, letting his arms loosen their hold of the alpha but not letting go completely. “That was intense.”

Iwaizumi hummed in agreement and carefully rolled to his side on the bed, pulling Oikawa with him.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you come that hard,” the alpha said with a smile.

“It’s probably just good,” Oikawa responded and laughed weakly. “I’m not sure if that was the best or the worst orgasm of my life.”

“It was definitely the best,” Iwaizumi said and bumped their noses together. “You sounded amazing.”

Oikawa closed his eyes and tried to ignore the presence of Iwaizumi’s knot in his sensitive ass.

“You’re amazing, Hajime,” he said, opened his eyes and smiled. “Marry me.”

“Tooru!” Iwaizumi gasped for the second time that night with half genuine shock. “I’m supposed to be the one to propose.”

“You were too slow,” Oikawa laughed and kissed Iwaizumi’s chin.

“Besides,” Iwaizumi continued, trying to supress his smile, “is this really the right place for a romantic proposal?”

“The best,” Oikawa replied. “What would be more romantic than you stuck inside my ass?”

Iwaizumi couldn’t hold his laughter any longer. He pressed a soft kiss on Oikawa’s lips.

“Of course I’ll marry you, Tooru,” he said. “Of course I will.”

*

It had been a very hot day, and it was still hot as Oikawa sat outside waiting. When his breasts had grown to be noticeable, he and the team had agreed that he could take a shower and get changed before the others to avoid awkwardness on both sides. Oikawa was pleased that he didn’t have to expose his changing body to all of his teammates, and he was sure the others were pleased that they didn’t have to see it. Oikawa wondered what it would be like to be an alpha and see a pregnant omega, whose body had gone through the same changes. Did it make them think about what had had to happen for a baby to be conceived in the first place, or was it just the difference in the body that now set him apart from every other male on the team?

His thoughts were rudely interrupted by a shadow casting over him. He turned to see who it was, but in the brightness of the late afternoon it was hard to tell. He squinted at the person, who then stepped away from the sun, and suddenly Oikawa was very much aware of who was standing before him.

“Oikawa-san,” Kageyama said with a serious face.

Oikawa’s heart skipped a beat and his first thought was to push the alpha away and run for it. His legs were feeling weak, however, so he remained sitting, hoping that someone from the team would show up soon.

“What do you want?” he asked, his throat dry, when the alpha didn’t say anything.

“Is it possible that the baby is mine?” Kageyama asked.

The question felt like a blow to Oikawa’s stomach. He lifted his arms to his belly and frantically looked away. He felt sick.

“It could be mine, couldn’t it?” Kageyama asked again.

Breathing was almost impossible with the way Oikawa’s throat seemed to have swollen shut. He was fighting the tears that were persistently clouding his vision, and he was hoping that by some miracle Iwaizumi’s senses had gotten so powerful he would be able to smell how terrified his omega was right at that moment.

“I want a paternity test,” Kageyama said, when Oikawa didn’t respond.

“What?” Oikawa finally got out, turning to look at the alpha in front of him with horrified eyes.

“I want to know if it’s my baby,” Kageyama repeated.

“No,” Oikawa gasped, his lips trembling.

“I have the right to know,” Kageyama said, his voice remaining steady.

“What does it matter to you,” Oikawa said, voice gone soft.

He was praying that someone, anyone would come and interrupt the horrible conversation. He was hoping that somehow a brick would fall down from the sky and kill Kageyama, or that the alpha would suddenly burst to laughter and tell him it was just a joke.

“If it’s my child I want to know,” Kageyama said. “I want to be a part of his life.”

Oikawa’s body was shaking. He couldn’t say anything. He could hardly even understand that what was happening was real. It couldn’t have been. He must have fallen asleep as he was waiting.

“I want a paternity test,” Kageyama repeated.

“Fine,” Oikawa shouted and turned to look at the boy with teary eyes. “Fine, you’ll get the fucking paternity test, but not before the baby’s born. Now go away and leave me alone!”

Kageyama stood still for a moment longer, then nodded his head, turned, and walked away. Tears were dropping down Oikawa’s cheeks and he was gasping for breath, holding his belly with both arms. He heard someone approaching, and blinked to chase the tears away, but they wouldn’t stop coming. The person stopped a distance away, and he reluctantly turned to see who it was.

“Should I go get Iwaizumi-san?” Kyotani asked.

Oikawa shook his head.

“Are you feeling sick?” Kyotani asked and took a tentative step closer. “Is there something wrong?”

Oikawa spluttered and looked at Kyotani’s worried face.

“Have you ever thought that this could be your baby?” he asked.

Kyotani froze and as the possibility dawned on him, horror took over his face.

“No,” the alpha said quietly. “No, I don’t… Are you expecting me to take responsibility if it is?”

Oikawa shook his head, tears still spilling down his face.

“No,” he said, “I don’t want anyone else to take responsibility but Iwa-chan.”

Kyotani sighed with relief and relaxed.

“I’m really sorry,” he said carefully.

“Why did you tell him?” Oikawa asked. “You shouldn’t have told Iwa-chan. I never told him.”

Kyotani looked almost embarrassed with the question. He couldn’t face Oikawa as he slowly said:

“I was worried that maybe you had done something stupid because I hurt you.”

Oikawa barked a laugh followed by a wail.

“The guy who raped me after you wants a paternity test,” he said.

Kyotani didn’t say anything. Oikawa lowered his head. His tears were dropping on his knees.

“Someone raped you after me,” Kyotani said finally, his voice slow and quiet. “I had no idea. I’m… Shit. That makes me feel even worse about what I did. I’m really sorry.”

Oikawa didn’t look at the alpha anymore. His body was shaking and the tears wouldn’t stop coming.

“I already told you this before,” Kyotani said, “and I know it doesn’t really make a difference, but I really wish I had been able to control myself. Even if I never really liked you, you don’t deserve something that horrible.”

“Look,” Oikawa said with a distant voice, “I really appreciate it. Even if your words don’t make it better or will never make me forget about it, it means a lot to me that you’re willing to try.”

Silence fell between them, and in a distance Oikawa could here other people headed that way.

“You should go before Iwa-chan sees this,” Oikawa said. “He might not be able to control himself long enough to hear an explanation.”

Kyotani took a step forward but stopped.

“I don’t care,” he said. “I can’t just leave you here sobbing like that.”

Soon enough Oikawa smelled Iwaizumi’s anger when the alpha turned the corner and saw him with Kyotani.

“You son of a bitch,” Iwaizumi shouted and charged forward.

“Iwa-chan, stop,” Oikawa said and looked up.

The alpha stopped on his tracks, shot a final angry look at Kyotani, and then hurried to Oikawa. He kneeled down next to him, a hand on Oikawa’s knee.

“What’s going on?” he asked, trying to keep his voice calm, but Oikawa could hear the tremor of a violent anger that terrified him.

“He didn’t do anything,” Oikawa said. “Please, calm down. He was just worried.”

Iwaizumi turned to look at Kyotani, who nodded, said his goodbyes and left.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa whimpered, drawing the alpha’s attention back to him. “Take me home.”

Iwaizumi sighed, but stood up, offering his hand to Oikawa who took it and let himself be helped up. Iwaizumi wrapped his arm around Oikawa’s shoulders in a possessive manner, and they started their walk home.

“Tooru,” Iwaizumi said, “don’t shut me out again.”

“I won’t,” Oikawa promised with a quiet voice.

In his head he could still hear the echo of Kageyama’s words:

“I want a paternity test.”


	2. Not Today

“He came to see me,” Oikawa had said quietly. “Why won’t he leave me alone? I don’t want to see him ever again.”

It hadn’t been a lie, but it hadn’t been the full truth either. Oikawa knew how disappointed Iwaizumi would be if he knew that the omega still wouldn’t tell him everything. He had promised to talk on the following day and sent Iwaizumi home with a small smile and an “I love you” on his lips.

He promised to not shut Iwaizumi out again, but it was hard.

There were things they hadn’t really talked about, and Oikawa wasn’t sure if it was because the alpha didn’t want to or that he was only waiting for Oikawa to be ready to talk. If it was up to him, he would never talk about it again, completely lock the memory of that horrible day somewhere out of sight, pretend it didn’t happen, and continue to live happily ever after with his Iwa-chan.

Why didn’t the rest of the world let him do that?

He thought about the way Kyotani had taken the time to check on him when he was crying. If _that day_ had never happened, surely Kyotani wouldn’t have cared. He wanted for the alpha to stop pretending like he hadn’t hated Oikawa and every other third year on the team. In a twisted way he could understand why it had happened in the first place: he was in heat, Kyotani hated him, and what would be a better way to show your hate to someone than hurt them in the worst way you possibly could? He wanted for Kyotani to shut up, to never have apologised, to have just lived on with the knowledge that he had managed to hurt the person he hated.

Then there was Kageyama, another person who seemed to resent him more than anyone else. Oikawa was pleased that Kageyama hadn’t even tried to apologise. He didn’t want to have the sympathy of someone who had never tried to understand him even when they were teammates. He had hoped to never have to face Kageyama off court, to never have to put aside his own feelings of incompetence in front of his junior, and then he had been stripped off of the last of his pride by the very same junior. Compared to Kageyama he had always been lacking, his skills so easily surpassed by someone two years younger. The knowledge of the fact that Kageyama had turned out to be an alpha made him seem even smaller, because while he could try to deny it all he wanted, alphas were regarded to be superior to omegas. They were stronger, more competent in every area of life, they were the owners of their omegas.

Oikawa sniffled as he thought about how much less his worth had become the moment Kageyama overpowered him and took advantage of his inadequacy.

After Iwaizumi had left him alone Oikawa had done some research. He had come to the conclusion, that the chances of Kageyama being the father of his child were minuscule: he wasn’t a fully formed alpha, so his semen was probably still underdeveloped, not to mention the fact that he had been interrupted way before he was even close to releasing. Oikawa thought about how Tanaka had been so close to knotting him it had been a struggle for him to pull out in time. The chances of him being the father out of the three were probably the highest.

Before letting himself sink into total desperation Oikawa reminded himself of Iwaizumi, that his own alpha was the only one who had actually come inside him. Iwaizumi’s semen was the only semen that had ever painted his insides white. If anyone had the highest chance to be the father of the child, it was Iwaizumi.

The image of Kageyama wouldn’t disappear. Kageyama was standing above him, looking down on him, pulling him towards him, and looking at him straight in the eyes when he begged for it to stop. The way Kageyama’s voice had been devoid of any emotion with the word “no”, and the pain of being taken against his will made his head spin. He glanced at the drawer of his nightstand. He could almost feel the presence of the familiar blade, and an urge that he hadn’t felt for weeks suddenly hit him.

I shouldn’t, he thought to himself, reaching to the drawer, but letting his hand fall. If he couldn’t stop it for himself, at least he shouldn’t do it because he had promised Iwaizumi. The alpha had finally calmed down only a week or so ago, no longer demanding to take a look at his arm that had been slowly healing. Everyone in practice would also notice it immediately.

Oikawa turned his back to the nightstand and swallowed. He had to talk to Iwaizumi, but he didn’t want to bring up all the pain he was still going through.

*

One thing Oikawa had always been good at is seducing Iwaizumi into having sex with him when they were supposed to talk about something serious. He didn’t hesitate to use his skill when the alpha had tried to start a conversation about the previous day, and for a moment longer he had been able to put aside all the troubles he had. He felt like he was someone important when he was bouncing on Iwaizumi’s cock, his hips moving fast and his breasts jiggling with the movements. Iwaizumi’s hands were resting on his hips, groping at the roundness of his body, and Oikawa felt like he was everything when Iwaizumi looked at him with his loving eyes.

When they kissed it tasted like happiness, and Oikawa smiled at the way Iwaizumi’s knot kept them locked together. The alpha’s scent was all around him, and it filled him with pure joy.

“I never want to be without you,” he whispered.

“That’s surprisingly romantic of you,” Iwaizumi said and smiled, kissing Oikawa again and again.

“Don’t ruin the mood, stupid Iwa-chan,” Oikawa said and pretended to shove Iwaizumi.

He laughed and pulled the alpha closer, hugged him with his entire body and said:

“I wish I could always be this happy.”

Iwaizumi stroked his hair with gentle fingers.

“So do I,” he said.

They stayed that way, their limbs tangled together, a sleepy peacefulness surrounding the bed, until Iwaizumi’s knot melted away and he slipped out of Oikawa.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa said cupping Iwaizumi’s face with his hands. “I’m sorry.”

“Why?” the alpha asked, and Oikawa pressed a soft kiss on his lips before answering.

“Do you want a paternity test?”

Iwaizumi was taken back by the question. Maybe he really hadn’t been thinking about it and that’s why they hadn’t talked about it. Oikawa was starting to wonder if asking had been a mistake, but then Iwaizumi sighed and said:

“I’m not sure. I’ve been thinking about it, but I’m not sure if I really want to know.”

Oikawa nodded. He felt exactly the same way. He wanted to keep pretending that Iwaizumi was the father of his baby, but there would always be that gnawing feeling at the back of his mind that would keep reminding him of the uncertainty of that, possibly for the rest of his life.

“What about you?” Iwaizumi asked, stroking Oikawa’s hair, his face gentle.

“I really don’t know,” Oikawa said quietly, and felt the sadness in his eyes. “I feel like if I know it’s not yours it will always bother me, but if I don’t know if it’s yours that will also bother me.”

The alpha nodded thoughtfully.

“Why don’t we have the paternity test,” he said. “When we get the results we don’t need to look at it if it feels like we don’t want to know.”

Oikawa thought about it. He wondered if he could live with a letter like that remaining unopened, trying to pretend it wasn’t there, like nothing was wrong with their little family.

“Let’s do that,” he finally said.

They kissed almost desperately, as if their actions during the pregnancy could change the truth. Oikawa heard his phone buzz but ignored it in favour of drowning into the good feeling of being close to his alpha, burrowing into his embrace and smelling their scents intertwined around them.

“Why did it have to be this hard?” he said, almost a whisper.

“You deserved something so much better,” Iwaizumi said equally quietly, holding Oikawa close to his body. “I wish I could have protected you from what happened.”

“It’s not your fault,” Oikawa said.

Iwaizumi didn’t say anything, but Oikawa could feel what he was thinking. The sadness of the situation broke into their cocoon of warm happiness, and he sniffed, trying to hold back the tears that were quickly forming in his eyes.

“I wish I could make you happy again,” Iwaizumi said, and the words broke Oikawa’s heart all over again.

His tears mingled with the drops of sweat still remaining on Iwaizumi’s chest, and he pressed his face harder against the strong body next to him.

“Nothing makes me as happy as you do,” he stuttered.

*

Iwaizumi walked him home, and they parted with a firm kiss and a promise of making it work out. Oikawa was happy it was late enough for him to withdraw to his room without having to spend time with his family; the day had been tiring, and he just wanted to rest. He was in the middle of changing his clothes when he remembered someone had tried to call him earlier. He picked up his phone to see who it was.

There was one call from an unknown number, and a text message from the same number. He opened the message.

“I expect you to inform me when you have the baby so we can arrange for the paternity test. Kageyama”

Oikawa closed his phone and carefully set it down on his nightstand. He sat down on his bed. He breathed in and out, trying to maintain a calm rhythm. His hands were restlessly pressing on the bed and he wiped his palms on the sheets.

His chest had tightened into a taut knot, and he found it amazing how his heart could still beat and provide him with what his body needed to live. His eyes were wet, but not exactly teary, when he opened the drawer of his nightstand and picked up the blade that had been waiting there for weeks. He felt it with his fingers, the edges of it so sharp he wouldn’t be surprised if he accidentally wounded his fingertips as he held it. He looked at his arm, how the old wounds were healing, no longer the angry red they had first been. Everyone would notice.

His eyes dropped down onto his lap. His legs had gotten rounder with the pregnancy. They jiggled when he walked, and he hated that. Never before in his life had he been so focused on the flesh of his body, so aware of how it moved when he did. He lowered the blade on the skin of his thigh, just held it there. No one would see. His legs were always covered.

A part of him was still telling him it was a bad idea when he drew the blade over his skin. It didn’t bleed as easily as his arm had, it didn’t feel quite as satisfying, so he did it again, and again. He looked at how the skin had given way to the sharp blade, how blood was seeping out of the tears on his leg. He looked at the sight and put the blade back into the drawer. He wiped the blood away with a tissue. It hurt, and he wanted to slap himself.

“Oikawa?” Suga answered the phone with a question.

He couldn’t say anything. His throat had been blocked by the knot that was still pressing in his chest. He sniffled.

“What’s wrong?” Suga asked.

“Why won’t he leave me alone?” Oikawa sniffed, his voice thick and unrecognisable.

“Who?” Suga asked.

Oikawa had to take a deep breath before he answered:

“Kageyama.”

He spat out the name like it was burning his mouth.

“Has he contacted you after we ran into him?” Suga asked.

Oikawa told Suga everything in a sudden burst of words. He was hoping his parents couldn’t hear him cry over the phone.

“He has no right for that,” Suga said.

“But I might want to know if it’s his baby,” Oikawa said slowly.

Suga was quiet. Oikawa heard him think. Oikawa was hoping the other omega would be able to solve his problem and make it go away.

“Why don’t you tell him”, Suga finally said, “that you’ll do the paternity test, but no matter what the result is he has to leave you alone? Tell him that if he doesn’t stop bothering you, you’ll go to the police.”

“Do you think that would work?” Oikawa asked with a whimper.

“I would hope so,” Suga said. “He wouldn’t want to be reported.”

Oikawa hummed in response, not quite convinced. He looked down at his bleeding leg.

“Suga-san,” he said. “Thank you for everything.”

“Don’t make it sound so ominous,” Suga laughed. “I’ve told you many times I’m happy to help.”

“It means a lot to me,” Oikawa said.

His head was still a blur of emotions when the call ended. He looked at the way the flesh on his leg was torn and open. It looked horrible. He didn’t bother putting on his pyjamas, he simply lay down and pulled the blanket over him. He listened to the house around him, imagined how his parents were downstairs having a peaceful conversation. They had no idea about what was going on. They didn’t know about what had happened a couple of months ago, they didn’t know about the way Oikawa still woke up in the middle of the night and cried because his dreams were too vivid. As far as they knew Oikawa and Iwaizumi had an accident with birth control, and nothing more.

The wounds on his leg stung and he felt like crying. He was so stupid. He was so so stupid.

“I’m sorry, Iwa-chan,” he breathed into his pillow and closed his eyes.

His dreams were distressing and cold, and when he woke up his eyes felt heavy.

*

That day Oikawa came up with an excuse to not spend time with Iwaizumi after school. The alpha looked disappointed but didn’t seem to suspect anything. Oikawa sat on his own bed, the familiar blade in his hand, and thought about what a terrible lying boyfriend he had become. Iwaizumi trusted him and here he was, breaking that trust.

He didn’t feel especially anxious, he didn’t feel like he was breaking apart. He simply wanted to do it. He was sitting cross-legged and pressed the corner of the blade on his ankle. It hurt. It didn’t satisfy him. In frustration he cut again. He could feel his entire face reflect the disappointment he was feeling, and he looked at his arm and the fading marks on his skin, the way his veins were a beautiful shade of blue on his wrist.

If it was a tiny wound, no one would see.

It might have been the worst idea he had ever had, but even the tiny cut on his wrist felt much more satisfactory than any of the ones he had on his leg. It bled easily, and he couldn’t resist making another cut right next to it. He was in a trance, looking at how droplets of blood surfaced and smeared along the wounds, dripped slowly onto the healthy skin. He pulled on his skin to make the wounds bleed more, when he was startled by the doorbell.

He was home alone, so he quickly wiped the blood off, pulled down his sleeve, and headed to the door.

“Iwa-chan,” he said, surprised by the alpha standing at the doorway.

“Hey,” Iwaizumi said. “I know you said you need to study, but I…”

Oikawa cocked his head in question, but Iwaizumi seemed to have lost the words he needed. He stepped aside to allow the alpha to enter, and they went up to his room, where he remembered he hadn’t shut the nightstand drawer or put the blade away. He ignored it, hoping that Iwaizumi would be distracted by something else to not notice.

They sat on the bed, just like always, and Oikawa looked at Iwaizumi, who seemed hesitant.

“Oikawa,” the alpha said and took a hold of Oikawa’s hands.

“Yes?” the omega asked and prayed that Iwaizumi wouldn’t notice the fresh cuts on his wrist.

“Tooru,” Iwaizumi said, still looking lost.

Oikawa waited patiently. His heart was pounding, and he did everything he could to stop himself from looking towards the nightstand.

“I just wanted to be with you,” Iwaizumi finally said. “I know I should be strong, but I’m not.”

“Yes, you are,” Oikawa said with an encouraging smile.

“I’m not,” Iwaizumi argued, his eyes cast down. “Sometimes I just feel like I can’t breathe without you.”

Oikawa leaned closer to the alpha in front of him, brushing their shoulders together and pulling him into a hug.

“You should have told me years ago,” he whispered.

“I didn’t want you to think you had chosen a weak alpha,” Iwaizumi mumbled.

Oikawa closed his eyes and rested his forehead on Iwaizumi’s hair.

“I don’t care,” he said. “I don’t care about your alpha qualities. I always knew I wanted to be with you, and I have been happy ever since I finally had you.”

Iwaizumi lifted his arms around Oikawa and squeezed the omega close to his body.

“I love you so much it hurts,” he said.

Oikawa kissed Iwaizumi’s temple.

“I know,” he said. “That’s how I feel about you too.”

Iwaizumi’s hands were roaming his back. They were so warm he shivered, a content sigh escaping him as he guided Iwaizumi to turn his head so he could reach his lips. The kiss was unhurried, their lips hardly even moving when they pressed together. Oikawa let Iwaizumi lift him onto his lap and he hummed against the alpha’s soft lips. Iwaizumi’s cheeks were soft too, his hand pressed against them so he could feel how the skin moved under his palms. Oikawa turned his head to kiss from a different angle, parting his lips and breathing in soft bursts. Iwaizumi’s hands were on his lower back, pulling him closer and warming him. His breasts were pressed against the alpha’s chest, and he felt his nipples become erect with the rubbing stimulation.

Their kiss opened up to allow their tongues to meet, and Iwaizumi tasted so familiar Oikawa wanted to squeeze him closer to himself, so close they could never be apart again. Iwaizumi’s hands moved onto his ass, squeezing lightly and teasing him with intense touches.

A sudden sting on Oikawa’s leg reminded him of the reality at hand, and he broke the kiss.

“Iwa-chan,” he said, his hands still stroking the alpha’s cheeks. “Not today.”

“Oh,” Iwaizumi said and let go of Oikawa’s ass. “Sorry.”

Oikawa smiled fondly and pressed a kiss on the tip of Iwaizumi’s nose.

“Why do you apologise?” he whispered. “I’m sorry I’m not in the mood today.”

Iwaizumi tried to argue but Oikawa silenced him with his index finger on Iwaizumi’s lips. The alpha smiled and gave up.

*

Trying to stop himself from cutting again was exhausting, and Oikawa tried to fill his days with enough distractions to not even think about it. Iwaizumi was the best distraction, but being with the alpha was starting to get difficult after he had refused his sexual advances several times. They both knew he was the horny one, and he usually didn’t even hesitate to get undressed and have Iwaizumi pound him into the mattress, so he saying he was not in the mood for many days in a row was suspicious.

“I’m sorry, Iwa-chan,” he said once again, and from the alpha’s face he could tell the man was not convinced.

“Oikawa,” Iwaizumi started. “Is there something wrong?”

All this time Oikawa had known that eventually it would come to this: he would have to confess to Iwaizumi.

“I’m so sorry, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa mumbled.

The knowledge of how disappointed the alpha would be made Oikawa feel much worse than cutting itself had.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated and stood up from the bed.

Without looking at Iwaizumi he opened his slacks and let the fall to the floor, the ugly cuts on his leg coming to view. He stepped out of the pants and pulled off his left sock to reveal his ankle. Finally he pulled up his sleeve and turned his wrist to Iwaizumi to expose the final few cuts.

The look on Iwaizumi’s face was that of pain and sorrow, and it felt like a stab.

“Tooru,” Iwaizumi said with a broken voice.

The alpha reached out to pull Oikawa closer to him and hugged his waist. Oikawa’s hands settled in Iwaizumi’s hair, and the alpha held him there for a long time. Oikawa didn’t cry, but he hurt.

When Iwaizumi loosened his hold he looked up to Oikawa. His eyes were worried as he looked at the omega.

“Why?” he asked, his voice soft.

“I’m sorry, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa repeated.

Iwaizumi shook his head and gestured for Oikawa to sit down on the bed.

“I don’t want you to apologise,” the alpha said. “I just want you to explain it to me. Has something happened?”

Oikawa moved a bit closer to Iwaizumi and took a hold of his hand.

“Nothing new,” he said. “It’s just really hard to stop.”

Iwaizumi nodded, although Oikawa was certain the alpha didn’t really understand. Even he didn’t completely understand it.

“I didn’t really even want to do it,” Oikawa said. “It’s just too tempting.”

“So you still have the blade in your nightstand drawer?” Iwaizumi asked.

“You knew?” Oikawa gasped.

Iwaizumi nodded, and Oikawa lowered his gaze. He should stop forgetting how much the alpha really knew about him. He should stop assuming that there could ever truly be a wall between them, and that he could hide things somewhere out of sight.

“When was the last time you did it?” Iwaizumi asked, his eyes evaluating the wounds on Oikawa’s thigh.

“It’s been four days,” Oikawa said.

Iwaizumi squeezed his hand.

“You can do it,” the alpha said and smiled.

There was a lingering sadness in the smile, but it made Oikawa feel better.

“So,” the omega said, “do you still want to fuck me?”

Iwaizumi burst to laughter.

“That sounds more like you,” he said and kissed Oikawa’s hand. “I was worried about how you suddenly weren’t in the mood.”

Oikawa was leaning closer to Iwaizumi, waiting for the alpha to claim his body.

“I’m sorry for worrying you,” he said right before Iwaizumi’s lips pressed on his neck.

Taking a break from sex had made Oikawa even more sensitive than usual, and he couldn’t keep his voice down at all as Iwaizumi thrust into him. Iwaizumi’s hands and lips were playing with his breasts, and he moved his hips eagerly with every push of Iwaizumi’s cock into him.

“Ah, Hajime,” he moaned. “Knot me and make me pregnant!”

He heard Iwaizumi chuckle above him, but the pleasure took him over with such force he didn’t have time to be put off by his boyfriend’s rudeness. He felt like Iwaizumi’s cock had grown in size, and when the knot stretched him wide open his vision sparkled.

As they lay side by side, both out of breath, Oikawa thought that even with all the difficulties his life had been pretty good lately. Iwaizumi was warm next to him and hot inside him, and he sucked on his lower lip in thought.

“Have you really understood that we’re going to have a baby?” he asked.

Iwaizumi swiped hair out of his forehead and smiled.

“I don’t think I’ll fully understand before the baby’s born,” the alpha said.

“It’s so weird,” Oikawa said and giggled in a way that made him laugh.

“You’re going to be a great mama,” Iwaizumi said and laughed too.

“Don’t you ever call me that again,” Oikawa pouted.

“Fine, fine,” Iwaizumi laughed. “Whatever you say, mommy.”

Oikawa let out a yell of frustration and attacked Iwaizumi with tickles.

“No, stop!” Iwaizumi shouted and laughed.

Their life was pretty good right now.


	3. The Father

The atmosphere around _his family_ was peaceful. He could barely even hear the clock tick in the near-silence of the room. Tooru had fallen asleep on the sofa, curled next to the hand rest, his messy hair falling over his face. He should make sure to have Tooru take some time to cut it and take care of himself more.

He was sitting on the armchair next to the sofa, smiling at the way Tooru’s hands twitched in his sleep, smiling at himself for being so ridiculously happy and at peace. He closed his eyes for a moment to let himself feel it more, the comfort surrounding them right now when nothing was wrong in the world.

In his arms Iwaizumi held the sleeping baby girl, whose nose was scrunched up and her tiny hands were loose fists. Her head was turned towards his body, and he didn’t dare move to not wake her up. Looking at her now his heart was filled with love, previously completely unimaginable to him, the love you have for your child. He couldn’t help chuckling at the memory of him seeing the baby for the first time; he had cried and kissed Tooru’s sweaty forehead and said something to the effect of “we made this baby”, and he had never known what it feels like to see new life in front of you, looking at you, closing its tiny fist around your pinkie. Now he knew, but he couldn’t explain it, couldn’t explain the pride he felt when he looked at his Tooru, his one and only omega, lie there, sweaty and red in the face, tears in his eyes when he looked at the baby girl he had brought to the world. He couldn’t explain the tenderness of seeing his boyfriend hold his baby for the first time, the way his arms folded and his hands were shaking as he clumsily did his best to support the fragile neck of the new-born. His eyes were tearing up as he thought about the moment of looking at those two together, knowing that this was his family, he had gotten the family he had always dreamed about.

He sighed and let his eyes close again. Their baby, his baby, was warm in his arms and he felt the love of her in her dreams. He thought back to when she hadn’t been born yet, when she was still just an idea, a dream of the future of him and Tooru as a family. He smiled at the memory of Tooru’s pregnant form, the way he grew so big and soft, how he walked differently and pouted when he was told he should stop participating in volleyball. He had looked at Tooru with pride and love during graduation, when the omega had been the only one with a round belly and full breasts on his chest, getting all the attention even if he didn’t want it. He thought about the way he had touched Tooru’s tummy, felt the tight skin shield the newly developing life from harm, and how he felt a kick for the first time and broke down in tears because that’s when he started to understand it was real. How Tooru had scolded him for being too gentle during sex because he was so afraid the omega would break under his touch.

In a way Tooru had been his omega for years now, his marked omega for 10 months, and soon they would be each other’s legally, they would be their own alpha and omega unit, and the whole world would know it. He smiled at the thought of Tooru sometimes playing with his engagement ring, not even noticing he was doing it, just absentmindedly touching it and smiling privately. He still had times when he looked at his own ring too, smiled at the thought of them committing to the relationship in a level that felt unnecessary yet needed. He thought back to the day when they finally moved in to their own home, how it quieted down and Tooru smiled at him from the bed, and he was sweaty and aching but Tooru looked at him like he was the best thing. And he looked back, wiping sweat off his forehead he stepped forward and kissed his boyfriend, and they shared a smile together, the two of them knowing how much they didn’t need anything but each other.

It was Iwaizumi’s day off, and he had never felt better than he did at this slow moment of his family sleeping beside him.

*

Sleep had taken him without his knowledge, and he woke up to the same warmth that had lulled him to sleep. He opened his eyes. Tooru was looking at him with a gentle smile on his face, but for a quick flash of a moment Iwaizumi saw the purest form of sadness in those eyes. It was gone so soon he couldn’t be certain if he had seen it or if it was just a reflection of his own fears, and he chose to not pursue it in order to enjoy the peace of the day.

”The two of you together look so adorable,” Tooru said quietly.

”Of course we do,” Iwaizumi replied. ”She looks so much like you it’s a given.”

Tooru giggled.

”Iwa-chan, you’re really bad at flirting!” he said and leaned to his boyfriend to kiss his forehead and cheek. ”But that’s also what makes you irresistible.”

Iwaizumi laughed and kissed Tooru’s soft lips.

”I hope it’s so irresistible you can’t help but still want to marry me,” he said.

”If you’ll still want me,” Tooru said in a frail voice, and Iwaizumi knew he wasn’t joking anymore.

He could feel question marks flood his head, but he also wanted to keep the day pleasant. Quickly he reached a conclusion and slowly raised his hand to stroke the omega’s cheek.

”If course I will,” he said with all certainty.

Tooru looked like he wanted to argue, but stayed silent. Instead he smiled and looked at the baby on Iwaizumi’s arms.

”She’s going to wake up soon,” the omega said. ”I’ll take her.”

”How can you tell?” Iwaizumi asked as he gave the baby to Tooru, who handled her like he had been born to be a parent.

”It’s nothing magical,” Tooru said and laughed. ”She’s starting to look restless.”

Iwaizumi looked at how the baby soon started to wake up in Tooru’s arms, her small body coming back to life. He watched Tooru expose a breast for the baby to suckle on, how the tiny hands were leaning on the warm flesh as she drank. He couldn’t help letting his eyes focus on the fullness of the breast, how it curved heavily but still so soft on Tooru’s chest. Tooru wasn’t wearing a bra, and Iwaizumi’s eyes wandered to the breast that was hidden by his shirt, the thin fabric clearly exposing the shape of the roundness of his breast and the impression of a nipple casting its shadow on the smooth surface.

“Iwa-chan,” Tooru laughed. “Not in front of our baby!”

He looked at Tooru with a smiled and nodded, but couldn’t help the lingering feeling of arousal and a sort of envy to the soft little baby pressing her tiny mouth on a nipple.

“We should have another baby so your boobs won’t go away,” he said.

“Iwa-chan!” Tooru exclaimed. “Think about what you’re saying in front of our pure innocent daughter!”

“The next time she’s asleep I’ll ravage you,” Iwaizumi said with a smirk.

“I hope that’s a promise,” Tooru said and laughed.

It was, and the moment they were the only ones awake in their apartment, Iwaizumi escorted Tooru to the bedroom and wasted no time to undress him. He lowered his head to press open mouthed kisses on Tooru’s breasts, his hands fondling them all over.

“I’m glad you like my tits so much,” Tooru squealed and pulled his shoulders back to better expose her chest to Iwaizumi’s hungry touch. “It feels really good when you touch them like that. I could probably come just by having you play with them.”

“You want to try?” Iwaizumi mumbled against the nipple he was licking.

“No!” Tooru exclaimed. “I want you to fuck me so hard the neighbours will start acting awkward around us.”

Iwaizumi laughed, but took his time before moving away from the breasts. He pulled Tooru’s pants off and moved to kiss his hips and lower stomach.

“Iwa-chan,” Tooru said softly, his fingers dancing among the hair on the alpha’s head. “Can I fuck you?”

The question was quite enough to distract Iwaizumi from the task at hand, and he lifted his head up to look at Tooru. He wasn’t sure how he felt about the question. It had been too sudden for him to fully comprehend.

“What?” he finally asked.

“I want to know what it feels like to fuck someone,” Tooru said, his fingers still in Iwaizumi’s hair, tugging lightly. “You seem to enjoy it a lot.”

Iwaizumi sat up. He had never thought about switching roles, and he had not imagined Tooru would want to do so. He felt like his thoughts were not going anywhere, he couldn’t even begin to consider what it would be like.

“We don’t even have lube,” he finally said, in an attempt to move the conversation away from this possibility of something so unusual.

“We do,” Tooru said with an innocent smile.

“Why do we have lube?” Iwaizumi asked, and Tooru looked at him like he was being slow on purpose. “We’ve never needed lube. You get so wet on your own.”

“I know that, Iwa-chan,” Tooru said and reached to the nightstand to bring back a small bottle of lubricant.

“You planned this?” Iwaizumi asked when he finally started to understand.

“Possibly,” Tooru laughed. “Hajime, please.”

“But I’m the alpha,” Iwaizumi said weakly, but let his shirt be pulled off by Tooru, who then lay him down on the bed.

“That’s why it’s going to be easy for you,” Tooru said. “I have a small omega cock, so it’s not too big for you to take. And you’re a strong alpha who can stand a bit of discomfort.”

“You sure know how to stroke my ego,” Iwaizumi said.

“That’s not the only think I can stroke,” Tooru said with a ridiculous voice and pulled the alpha’s pants down.

He was hard, that was sure. He had remained hard even when facing the surprising suggestion, and he was sure he was getting even harder with the way Tooru gently pushed him around, took the initiative and controlled the situation. He gasped when Tooru’s hand took a hold of his cock, smeared pre-come over the head and onto the shaft.

“Look at you,” Tooru said. “You have such a massive cock. Think about how big it is compared to my tight little hole, and still, every time you manage to push it in and give me so much pleasure.”

He groaned when Tooru’s hand moved lower, and he didn’t resist when a slick finger pressed inside him. Tooru’s fingers were long and delicate as they pressed into him, searching and stretching. He was moaning openly by the time Tooru lined his cock to his entrance and started pushing in. He looked at the omega’s face as the small cock sank into him, how Tooru’s eyes fluttered shut and his mouth was open.

He wanted to say it felt uncomfortable and wrong, but the way Tooru’s hips were rolling and pushing into him in such a delicate manner was melting him into the bed. He kept his eyes open to look at the omega, how the rounded hips met his ass and how his breasts were jiggling with the movements. Tooru’s fingers were splayed over his hips, pressing slightly, pulling him into the thrusts, and he swallowed with how beautiful Tooru was like that, his stomach still bigger from the pregnancy and his hair flowing over his face as he licked his lips in concentration.

He had never thought about how exciting it would be for him to submit to someone, how thrilling it was to spread his legs and expose his most intimate parts to an omega to use. His heart was beating more alive and he felt Tooru’s cock brush against his prostate, making him squirm in pleasure and pull the sheets. He couldn’t stop moving his hips, and he didn’t want to. He wanted to feel Tooru in himself in this way he had never felt before, and his entire body jolted when his boyfriend looked at him with lust blown eyes and smiled.

“Come inside,” he said, when the omega started to withdraw.

“Are you sure?” Tooru asked with a breathy voice, and he nodded.

Tooru’s final pushes were hurried and desperate, and Iwaizumi pulled him down into a kiss when he cried out with his orgasm. Iwaizumi felt the spurt of semen inside him, the feeling of it somehow dirty and taboo, and he pulled the omega close to his body, so close, so close.

He didn’t waste time to push his aching cock inside Tooru’s hole and fucked the omega in a hurry, his thrusts almost violent in his haste to feel his release.

“Can I knot you?” he asked, his voice a desperate plea.

“Do it,” Tooru moaned. “Knot me with your huge knot and make me fat with your come!”

The way he felt when his knot was fully formed and his semen was secured inside the omega was something he had never felt before. His stomach stirred in a pleasant way and he pulled Tooru in his arms.

“I love you so much,” he said with a teary voice, even though his eyes were dry.

“Iwa-chan,” Tooru replied and entangled his limbs around the alpha’s body. “I love you too.”

*

There had been something funny about Tooru’s behaviour over the past couple of days, but Iwaizumi didn’t know how to approach it. He was uncertain whether or not the omega was conscious about the little hints of unhappiness he was picking up, and he didn’t know what to do with them. First he had thought he had done something wrong, yet again, but it also soon became obvious that Tooru wasn’t upset with him. He was always greeted with such warmth when he returned home or when he woke up in the morning, and he wasn’t exactly pushed away either, but the way Tooru sometimes looked at him, the way he kept on hinting that maybe he wouldn’t want to marry the omega after all was an obvious sign that something was going on.

It had started a day or two after they received a letter from the hospital with the results of the paternity test. They had looked at the envelope and each other with unvoiced questions, and then decided to hide the letter away into a drawer. When Tooru started acting weird Iwaizumi had gone to the drawer, but the envelope was still there just as intact as it had ever been.

It would be a lie to say that letter didn’t bother Iwaizumi just as much as it probably bothered Tooru. Ever since the first days after their daughter had been born they had both unconsciously searched for his characteristics in her face, but she looked so much like Tooru it was hard to say anything: her eyes were the same colour as Tooru, her nose was Tooru’s, and her lips sometimes pursed in the same way Tooru’s did. Sometimes when she was asleep and Iwaizumi looked at her, he thought he saw something familiar, but couldn’t quite put his finger on it. He thought about how Kyotani looked, but she didn’t resemble him in any way. He didn’t know what he himself looked like when he was asleep, so recognising her peaceful face made him feel uneasy.

Sometimes it didn’t leave him alone, the thought of his daughter being the daughter of someone else. He had meant it when he said he would always love her as his own, but the knowledge of that possibility wouldn’t stop bugging him. Some nights he lie awake in bed, Tooru cuddled up to his side fast asleep, and he thought about the letter in the drawer, how easily he could confirm his hopes or fears. But what if the results were negative? He would still be left in the darkness, because he wouldn’t know who Tooru’s assailants had been. Kyotani didn’t seem like an option; somewhere in his mind he was certain he would recognise any resemblance to the Mad Dog in his daughter if she was his.

Sometimes at work he couldn’t focus because he thought about all the people from Karasuno who could have assaulted Tooru. He had come to the conclusion, that the kind alpha who Tooru had asked to fuck him was someone from the volleyball team. Who else would have thought to ask Sugawara and Sawamura help Tooru home? The thought had irritated him every single time he saw the team, every time they played against each other, every time he heard someone mention Karasuno. He looked at every member of the team, trying to read them, to see if anyone was looking at Tooru like an alpha looks at an omega, to no avail. The only people looking at Tooru in any meaningful ways were Sawamura, Sugawara, and Kageyama, and he knew they all had personal connections to the omega.

Every time he faced the Karasuno team he did his best to figure out who were alpha, but he couldn’t be certain. He knew, for a fact, that Sawamura and Tanaka were alphas, but everyone else that looked like alpha to him he was uncertain of. Nishinoya acted like and alpha, but could have very well been just an overly confident omega. Azumane acted like a timid omega, but sometimes when the game got intense Iwaizumi saw that he too had a side to him that could indicate he was an alpha after all. The first years were all so young there was a possibility they hadn’t even presented yet.

He knew better than to try to press Tooru for information about who it had been. He had tried, but every time the omega either avoided the question or got upset because he kept insisting. He also knew it was pointless for him to keep thinking about it, to try to figure out a puzzle that had no solution, but when he lay awake and listened to Tooru sleep he wanted to cry because the omega deserved something so much better.

Ever since they had moved in together, Iwaizumi had been able to better keep an eye on Tooru in case the omega tried to hurt himself again. He hadn’t seen it happen, but he was afraid that the nightstand on Tooru’s side of the bed would hide in it the small blade he had seen before, the blade that had a drop of dried blood on it, the means to Tooru’s self-destruction. So when he happened to come home to find an empty apartment, he decided to take the opportunity to take a look in the drawer of that nightstand.

To be honest with himself, he felt guilty as he pulled the drawer open to reveal the one place in the apartment where Tooru was allowed to hide secrets. He felt even worse when he saw that the blade was no there. He lifted up the envelope that was there, but the blade wasn’t under there either. He sighed in relief and scolded himself for being so distrusting, and let the envelope fall from his fingers, when he caught the sight of a familiar logo. His heart pounding he picked up the envelope again. It was from the hospital.

He sat there for quite a while, contemplating his life and the choices he was free to make. It was Tooru’s personal letter, and it was something the omega had chosen to hide away from him. It was Tooru’s secret, and he should be allowed to keep secrets from any nosy alphas that might betray his trust and look inside the drawer where no one was allowed to look. But it was also concerning. Suddenly Iwaizumi head was filled with dread. Tooru constantly hinting that maybe he wouldn’t want to get married to the omega after all, and now a hidden letter from the hospital. Was there something wrong? Was Tooru sick? Was there something wrong with their daughter?

He shook his head. Think, he told himself. If it was about their daughter, Tooru would have told him. The hospital would have told him, not Tooru alone. The letter had been opened in a hurry, it seemed, the envelope was torn like whoever had opened it was doing it with shaky hands. It must have been something Tooru had been anticipating.

Or a complete surprise, which is why it had shaken Tooru into opening it in a hurry.

It was Tooru’s secret, and Tooru had a right to keep secrets.

Iwaizumi peeked inside the envelope, and immediately his eye caught the word “paternity”.

He put the envelope down and stood up, his heart pounding and his knees weak as he made his way to the hall where they kept the results of the paternity test. He looked into the drawer, and the letter was still there, unopened, sent to both him and Tooru. He slammed the drawer shut and returned to the bedroom.

Suddenly a thought occurred to him. Tooru must have arranged for a paternity test with one of the assailants. Or – more likely – with the kind soul who had saved him from being raped and then fucked him in return.

He punched the mattress with a grunt and sat down. The letter was waiting on the nightstand where he had left it, the torn envelope mocking him.

You just can’t let him have this one secret, can you? it seemed to ask. He trusts you. Are you not worth his trust?

With a sniff he wiped away the tears that had suddenly blurred his vision. He pulled the letter out of the envelope and read what it said, his shaky hands and watery eyes making it difficult.

The letter returned to its envelope in its place, the drawer closed once more, Iwaizumi stood up. He sat down. He pressed his face into Tooru’s pillow and cried.

*

“Iwa-chan,” Tooru’s soothing voice cut through his dream.

He wasn’t fully aware of the reality, but something told him he wanted to sleep more. He tried to sink into the embrace of sweet, forgiving dreams, but there was a hand on his hair, stroking, a kiss on his temple, and he groaned as he forced his eyes open.

“Iwa-chan, what are you doing?” Tooru asked. “I went for a walk and then came back to see you sleeping on my side of the bed.”

He looked at Tooru who was lying on his side of the bed, stroking his head with gentle fingers and a loving smile on his face. He remembered the letter, he could almost feel the burn of it behind him, and he closed his eyes.

“Are you not feeling well?” Tooru asked, and Iwaizumi had to open his eyes again.

“You’re mine,” he said.

“Of course I’m yours,” Tooru said with the same sweet smile on his face. “I’m all yours.”

“No, you don’t get it,” Iwaizumi said and sat up, startling both himself and the omega. “You’re mine.”

He took a hold of Tooru’s arms and pinned them to the bed. He tore off the omega’s pants and forced his legs apart, opening his own jeans in a hurry. Tooru was looking at him with a question, but not commenting.

“Do you understand?” he growled, his teeth showing and his breaths rising up from deep within him. “You belong to me.”

He sank his limp cock between Tooru’s ass cheeks.

“Iwa-chan,” Tooru started, but was interrupted by the alpha’s hands pressing against his throat.

“Mine,” Iwaizumi repeated, his hands not putting any real pressure against the omega’s neck, just staying there, feeling the way Tooru swallowed.

His hips were thrusting against the dry ass, his cock not really hardening, and he groaned in frustration. Beneath him Tooru had gone quiet and motionless. He looked up to the omega’s eyes.

The look he was faced with felt like a slap, and he let go of Tooru so suddenly he nearly jumped away. Tooru was crying silently, and now he smelled the fear emanating from the omega.

“Tooru,” he said, and the omega looked at him with apprehension. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

He pushed his cock back in his pants with embarrassment.

“I’m so sorry.”

Tooru didn’t say anything, and Iwaizumi was certain he had just made his last mistake.

“I’m so sorry,” he repeated, tears in his eyes and he slowly approached Tooru, leaned closer to the fearful omega. “You deserve better. You deserve so much better.”

“Why?” Tooru gasped, and Iwaizumi wasn’t sure what he was asking.

“I’m so sorry,” he said again. “I found the letter. I’m so sorry I couldn’t help myself. I know it was your secret, but I’ve been worried and I thought maybe something was wrong, but there wasn’t. Or more like, there is something very badly wrong. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why?” Tooru asked again. “Do you hate me? Do I disgust you so much you want to destroy me? You knew what happened, you knew all along. So why would you even try to do the one thing you know will get to me?”

Iwaizumi gasped. He felt like now he understood how Tooru had felt when he once slapped him. Now he knew what it felt like to be struck by the person you trusted so much, yet he also knew he had deserved every word.

“I didn’t mean to,” he tried, but the words sounded meaningless. “I wasn’t thinking. I was so angry, but I’m not angry at you. I promise I’m not angry at you.”

Tooru sniffled, and Iwaizumi wailed.

“I love you,” he continued his frantic explanation. “I don’t hate you at all, I love you and I’m so angry that… Kageyama?”

Tooru let out a cry like a wounded animal.

“What did he do to you?” Iwaizumi asked. “Please, tell me he was the nice alpha who saved you.”

Tooru shook his head and covered his face with his hands.

“I thought I was safe with him,” he sobbed, “but he attacked me. And I can still hear the way he said “no” when I begged for him to let me go, and he pulled me to the ground and it hurt so much, Iwa-chan.”

Iwaizumi pulled Tooru into a hug.

“He humiliated me worse than anyone ever has,” Tooru said, and Iwaizumi cried with him. “He made me crawl on the ground but I couldn’t get away from his hands, and he was everywhere.”

“I’m so sorry,” Iwaizumi cried. “I’m not angry at you. I’m angry at him. I don’t want to be angry around you. I know how scared you were back then, and I know what a terrible person I am for doing this. I’m sorry I didn’t think and couldn’t control myself.”

“Iwa-chan,” Tooru wailed. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I thought you didn’t want to know.”

They remained with their arms locked around each other, crying until their tears mingled and they were both gasping for air. Iwaizumi rocked Tooru in his arms, telling him how sorry he was over and over again between sobs.

After Tooru had calmed down a bit he looked at Iwaizumi.

“Iwa-chan,” he said with a stuffy, fragile voice. “If you had been hard would you really have done it?”

Iwaizumi couldn’t face Tooru when he said:

“Probably.”

He felt Tooru nod against his shoulder, and he felt what a sad nod it was.

“I know I’m supposed to make you feel safe,” he mumbled. “I’m the worst alpha ever.”

Tooru didn’t say anything. He got up and left the room, leaving Iwaizumi on the bed.

It’s over, Iwaizumi told himself, and buried his head in the pillows. He felt like his heart had been torn off his chest and thrown away, forgotten into a dark corner and he would never get it back again. He hugged his body but it felt cold, how his arms wrapped around himself completely different than they did around Tooru.

He heard rustling, and Tooru sat down next to him.

“Iwa-chan,” Tooru called his name, and he had to lift his head up.

Tooru was holding a glass of water in his hands.

“Have a drink,” the omega said.

Iwaizumi pushed himself up and took the glass from Tooru’s hands. He drank and Tooru said:

“This is the second time you attacked me in anger. But this is an unusual situation. Before all this happened, you never made me feel afraid.”

Iwaizumi handed the glass back to Tooru, who put it down on the nightstand.

“Iwa-chan,” he said. “Let this be the last time you lose your temper.”

“Yes,” he gulped. “I don’t want to be that person. I don’t like being that person. I only want to love you.”

Tooru looked at him, and he looked back.

“I suppose Kageyama has gotten that same letter then?” he asked.

Tooru sighed.

“I’m sorry I kept it from you,” the omega said. “When he found out I was pregnant he insisted on a test. He was quite scary, actually. You remember when you found me crying with Kyotani beside me? I was crying because Kageyama had confronted me about it.”

Iwaizumi looked at his omega with worry.

“You promised to tell me,” he said weakly.

“I know,” Tooru said. “I’m sorry I didn’t. I just couldn’t find a way to tell you without having to say who it was. And I never wanted you to know.”

“Okay,” Iwaizumi sighed. “Okay.”

“He wouldn’t leave me alone,” Tooru said. “So eventually I told him he would have his test if he promises to leave me alone no matter what the result is.”

“When did you find out?” Iwaizumi asked.

“A week ago,” Tooru said and blushed. “I haven’t heard anything from him since I informed him the baby was born.”

“He better stay away,” Iwaizumi said, but he was exhausted so there was no real threat behind his words.

“He may be the father,” Tooru said, and his voice broke, “but I don’t want him anywhere near her or me.”

Iwaizumi pulled Tooru into a hug.

“He won’t try anything,” he said with false certainty.

“Iwa-chan,” Tooru said.

“What?”

A moment’s hesitation preceded Tooru’s words.

“Will you still marry me?”

Iwaizumi burst to laughter.

“Of course I will,” he said and kissed Tooru’s forehead. “I’ll marry you, and we’ll always be a family.”

Tooru sounded like he was smiling.

“You know,” Iwaizumi continued, “I once told you I don’t care who the real father is. I still mean it. I’m going to love our daughter just as much as I have so far. She’s still my daughter.”

Tooru pressed his face against Iwaizumi’s shoulder.

“You’re the best alpha anyone could ask for,” he said, his words muffled by Iwaizumi’s frame. “You’re my alpha, Iwa-chan. You’re my Iwa-chan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was so painful to write I was in physical pain when I got to the part where Iwaizumi read the letter.
> 
> This, I think, is the final part of this AU. I'm still planning on writing a spin-off of Suga's love life, but I'm out of ideas for iwaoi. At least for now.
> 
> I hope you all know I couldn't decide any major details so I rolled a dice to determine who the father is and whether the baby is a boy or a girl. This is what a great writer I am~
> 
> Thank you all for your support and the nice comments! They've made this a very enjoyable Au to write to!
> 
> I have [a dedicated writing blog](http://mean-whalewrites.tumblr.com) but also sometimes talk about writing [on twitter](http://twitter.com/mean_whale), but to follow me on twitter please be over 18!


End file.
